Monday, July 10, 2006

 

OUTRAGEOUS: the liberal media snubs my blog

Howdy, friends.

First, there was the case of the "Pentagon Papers".

More recently, there's been the treasonous disclosure of clandestine (but necessary) government programs designed by my on-again-off-again best-buddy Dubya' to monitor (or spy on or whatever) American citizens for the purposes of defeating the evil-doers.

And in between these incidents, there has been decades and decades of liberal bias. As a proud Texan--dead or alive--I don't generally use fancy terms such as "liberal bias". Rather, we here typically call the New York Times a pussy-publication. People who read that bull-dookie tend to be homosexual or effeminate fancy types who put nutmeg in their tiny cups of joe. They are artsy, whiny, politically-correct traitors who worship the United Nations and don't seem to understand the inherent economic sense in the mantra "greed is good" or, better yet, the foreign policy doctrine known as "Don't Mess with Texas".

In fact, while I don't have hard evidence on me (most likely got shredded), I strongly suspect the paper in question worked closely with George Clooney, left-wing trial attorneys, the labor unions, and Satan to bring down my baby--Enron (R.I.P.).

But now they've really gone too far.

Today, they ran an article about the so-called blogosphere's reaction regarding Kenny Boy's whereabouts. While they mentioned www.kenlaylives.com (run by an childish shell of a man who wishes to profiteer off of my likeness, stealing the name of this here "official" blog, prompting me to issue a Ken Lay Guarantee that I will NEVER help promote this bottomfeeder's enterprise) and other sub-par sites, they neglected the very one you are reading right now.

This is beyond outrageous. This very blog is the only "official" blog of Kenny Boy. The content here far exceeds all the imitators in terms of content, multimedia, and honesty.

Hey New York Times...fuck you! That's right, I said it. What are you going to do about it? Have me killed? Expose my lies?

Bring...it...on.

I issue TWO challenges for the Times:

1) Issue an official correction regarding your reckless oversight of this important blog and offer me a tell-all interview on Page One, above-the-fold this Sunday (for a nominal fee);

AND/OR

2) Send Maureen Dowd and her stylish, snarky, sarcastic, but ultimately boring journalistic skill set down to Houston to investigate the ongoing mystery surrounding my death. Better yet, send fathead Frank Rich. Oh wait, I bet he's too busy watching some gay shit on Broadway.

Remember: this is the newspaper that has NOT endorsed a SINGLE Republican for President since Ike, and we all know he ostracized himself from the Party with that seditious speech warning against the military taking its orders from our fine nation's rightful leaders: the wise, honorable corporations. I mean, they did not even endorse Nixon, Reagan, or Dubya'. I can understand not endorsin' 41--we're friends, but he strikes me as a closet case.

Anyway, a big Ken Lay shout-out of love to those snaggle-toothed, tea-drinkin' limeys over at the Telegraph. They devoted multiple paragraphs to my very fine blog in an article about the topic!

Cheerio, you charming sons of bitches! You just made a friend in Ken Lay. Britain is looking like a better vacation spot all the time!!!

Comments:
the UK Telegraph thing is an editorial, but it's badasss...the NY Times is a really shitty article, poorly researched..how could they write it and not mention this site? u need better promotions, links, metafiler, etc...
 
I was close friends and a business partner with Kenny Boy. In fact he was a valued client. Please help dispel the rumors that he is alive and living in the guest house of Quick Estate. I have held a press conference, issued releases and warnings, yet the rumors and snooping reporters persist. Any assistance you can provide is most appreciated.

See you on the veranda!

Richard Quick, Esq.
Sr. Partner, Quick, Duhk & Hyde

Press conference transcript:
http://richardquick.blogspot.com/2006/07/kenneth-lay-conspiracy-hes-not-here.html
 
Oh, Kenny. NOTHING gets me hotter than an INTERNATIONAL celebrity. Now that you've got recognition from across the pond, it's absolutely imperative that you nail a hot blonde to celebrate. So sail that sexy yacht of yours on into New York harbor...I promise I won't tell anyone you are here. Besides, my ghetto crib in Sugar Hill is most assuredly the last place anyone would think to look for you.
 
Hey, *we* like your blog -- we had linked to http://kenlaylives.com, and saw the t-shirt, but that link seems to have expired. So we changed the link to this blog. See what I'm saying here: http://bankruptcyblognetwork.com/?p=16

Cheers.
 
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