Wednesday, July 05, 2006

 

Proof that I'm NOT dead...

The U.S. government seems to have no bones about providing photographic evidence to prove to the world that big-time criminals are indeed dead so that the public at large can sleep peacefully, feeling safe and secure (al-Zarqawi, anyone?).

I'll betcha they don't hold a press conference showing photos of my carcass. You know why? I ain't dead, that's why!

In fact, people should make demands along the lines of Principal Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller's Day Off (my second favorite film of all time). Only, those reasonable demands should be met as they were with al-Zarqawi, unlike what happened with Rooney (the movie is so unrealistic in that respect):

MR. ROONEY: You just produce a corpse, and I'll release Sloane…I want to see this dead grandmother first-hand.

CAMERON (impersonating Mr. Peterson): Ed, I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to see a body?

MR. ROONEY: Yeah, roll her old bones over here and I'll dig up your daughter…That's school policy…was this your mother?

CAMERON (impersonating Mr. Peterson): No, my wife's mother.

GRACE: Ed Rooney's Office...

FERRIS: This is Ferris Bueller for Mr Rooney.

MR. ROONEY: I'll tell you what, dipshit, if you don't like my policies—

GRACE: ED!!!

MR. ROONEY: —you can come down here and smooch my big old white butt—

GRACE: ED!!!

MR. ROONEY: —pucker up, Buttercup…WHAT?

GRACE: Ferris Bueller is on line two!!!

FERRIS: Mr Rooney, I'm not feeling very well today. Could my sister bring home any assignments from my classes? Have a nice day.

MR. ROONEY: Mr Peterson, I think I owe you an apology.

CAMERON (impersonating Mr. Peterson): Well, I should say you do!




Comments:
wrong to compare him to zarqowi.
 
Apparently a lot of people believe that youre alive Kenny, this stupid site kenlaylives.com selling Ken Lay Lives shirts says they have already moved thousands
 
You're not fooling anyone, Ken.

The reason they won't show your body is because you put a bullet in your own head. Just couldn't face prison, could you, Ken?
 
I can't wait to see the huge gold framed photo...
 
Stop being lemmings in this zooillogical garden and following the whorizontal, please. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL
 
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